


Hurts Like Hell

by morticianwoes



Category: Marvel
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky has separation anxiety, Developing Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm still upset over the ending of endgame, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Sam wants to help, Stucky - Freeform, T'Challa is a blessing and respects Bucky, but its meant to be the start of romantic, dont get me wrong i love Steve and Peggy but what the fUCK, ig if you wanted to consider this platonic between Sam and Bucky you could, sambucky - Freeform, this is me coping with it, title is probably overused at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 18:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18856651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morticianwoes/pseuds/morticianwoes
Summary: **ENDGAME SPOILERS**Bucky is trying to cope with the choice Steve made. And Sam is willing to help him





	Hurts Like Hell

_ “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” _

Bucky watched as Steve walked to the machine. He wanted to stop him. He wanted Sam to go with him. He wanted to do  _ something, anything.  _ He watched as Steve disappeared.

 

_ “How long will it take?” _

_ “For us? Five seconds. For him? As long as he needs.” _

 

Please. Please, Steve, don’t do it. Bruce did the means to bring Steve back, yet he was nowhere to be seen. Anxiety and dread raised in Bucky.

 

_ “Where is he?” _

 

Bucky’s anxiety began to rise more, he felt like he was going to vomit. Shuri had described it as  _ separation anxiety  _ he recalls. At the same time as Sam, their eyes land on a figure on a bench. It takes a lot of restraint not to sprint to him. He stops ten feet away from the bench.  _ He did it.  _ Bucky can’t bear to take another step closer. He can’t face him.    
  


_ “Go ahead.” _

 

Sam takes Bucky’s order and goes to Steve. The distance he’s standing at he should be able to hear them. But nothing comes through. It feels like if he did he’d break down. 

 

His feelings are too mixed seeing Sam holding that shield. Sam is more than worthy to wield it. But… It should be Steve. Bucky shut his eyes tightly and silently inhaled. He needed to leave. 

  
  
  


_ Til the end of the line huh? _

  
  


__

* * *

 

  
  


Shortly after the infinity stones were returned, Bucky returned to Wakanda. He couldn’t bear to face anyone. His anxiety was at ease there, it was familiar. His little farming life. Occasionally T’Challa or Shuri would come to check on him. Never staying for too long, giving him space. He was thankful for them. He was also pretty sure T’Challa knew more of what was up than he let on. After all, he was apart of that civil war caused by him. 

 

_ Oh.. How much has changed since then.  _

 

The sharp feeling of tears forming stung Bucky’s eyes. He shook it off. He was being selfish. A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. 

 

_ “James? Sam Wilson is here to see you.” _

 

_ T’Challa’s voice. _ Bucky really was thankful for him. He didn’t move from his spot but heard the door open after he gave permission to come in. Sam stood inside, closing the door behind him, a smile on his face.   
  
_ “Hey, Bucky.” _

 

Bucky nodded in response and took two glasses of water to the table and sat, an invitation for Sam to join him.    
  
_ “I’d offer you something else, but I have a feeling you don’t really want a glass of goats’ milk.” _

 

Sam chuckled at the comment. The sound lightened Bucky’s heart a little.

 

_ “Water is fine.” _

 

They sat in silence for a moment. It was building up, dread began to sink into Bucky again. He knew what was coming next. 

 

To his surprise, Sam sounded calm, even sympathetic as the words left his mouth.   
  
_ “You’re not taking Steve’s decision well, are you?” _

 

There was a pause before Sam continued.

 

_ “I know you two were close, but can you talk to me? I want to help you. T’Challa wouldn’t even let me visit for a while…” _

 

A sigh left Bucky’s lips. He felt the beginning of tears pricking at his eyes again. 

 

_ “He deserves happiness. I knew I couldn’t give him that. I knew she could. But I still thought maybe… He told me his plan the night before he left. I wanted to stop him, I wanted to ask you to go instead, or to go with him. But I couldn’t do that. She clearly was the answer, she could give him what he deserves. I hoped he would change his mind, but he made the right choice. I could never give him what he deserves.” _

 

Sam listened patiently. From day one he knew there was chemistry between those two. It was as clear as day. 

There was no difference in Bucky’s voice, he had always been pretty quiet, well, since he got back that is. But his eyes told another story. Over time, Sam had picked up that Bucky spoke his true mind with his eyes. This was no exception. Bucky had yet to look in his direction since he started speaking, his gaze permanently fixed on something out through the window. But Sam could see the sorrow, even without eye contact. Bucky was hurting. 

 

He can’t say he was shocked. At first, he thought maybe Bucky had been upset he wasn’t given the shield but figured that couldn’t have been it. Sam realised to some extent what Steve meant to Bucky. He remembered what Steve told him about suddenly being in a time period he wasn’t from. It must’ve been worse for Bucky. Steve at least had a lot of friends, formed a family… While Bucky had mainly enemies. Even in Sam at first. When he had nothing he had Steve. And now that was gone.

 

The two sat in silence. Bucky hadn’t even realised he stopped talking, or that Sam hadn’t replied. Finally breaking his gaze Bucky looked down at the table, but his attention was caught by Sam’s hand atop his own. On his prosthetic hand no less. He hadn’t even felt it. 

  
  


_ “I don’t blame him,”  _ Bucky picked up again.  _ “For picking her. He got to live his life happily. Peacefully. He’d be an idiot for not doing it…” _

 

The words choked him as they left his lips. His heart felt like it was being squeezed so hard it’d be crushed any second. Not that he would complain if it did. His eyes were filled to the brim with tears but he wasn’t going to let them fall. Not here, not now, not ever.

 

_ “Bucky.” _

 

His tone… It was firm but gentle. It caused Bucky to look up and meet his eyes despite not wanting Sam to see him like this. His eyes were like an open book to his feelings and he knew that.

 

_ “I want you to come live with me.” _

 

_ What? _

 

_ “Just the two of us. Just because you don’t think you do, you deserve to live a happy life. You won’t get that isolating yourself here.” _

 

Bucky blinked in astonishment, causing some of his tears to fall down his cheeks, though he didn’t bring himself to care. He was still in shock from what Sam just said to him.

 

_ “You want me… to live with you..? Just the two of us?” _

 

_ “Just the two of us. And a service animal. But not a goat.” _

 

A laugh escaped Bucky’s mouth. He wasn’t sure about what Sam said about him being deserving, but maybe he was onto something. 

 

_ “What about a falcon?” _

 

Sam’s jaw went slack for a moment before laughing, Bucky joining as well. 

 

Their voices gently faded before the pair were silent again. Lowering his head in thought, Bucky mulled over the conversation.

 

He and Sam living together huh? 

 

_ “I think I would like that…” _

**Author's Note:**

> I really like Steve/Peggy and was so happy about them being together. But afterwards I realised... poor Bucky... I can't imagine how much that must've hurt him.   
> enter that meme "I ended my relationship with Stucky and now SamBucky is my best friend"


End file.
